There are two kinds of HEBs in this town, and you probably don’t even know it. I call them More Grackle and Less Grackle.

They roughly scale about how you’d expect. Newer, updated, larger HEBs are Less Grackle. Older, smaller HEBs with a smaller selection are More Grackle. They’re also in the parts of town you’d expect, but we’re not going to get into that because if you want that particular smackdown the entire rest of the internet is pretty much ready to help with that.

NOTE: This does not correspond to the number of grackles actually present at any HEBs. Grackles are fond of all HEB stores. That’s a universal constant. You could put an HEB in Toronto, and grackles would show up.

Until I was a few months into the blog, I didn’t even realize there were two different ads, serving two different groups of HEBs. Recently, the grackle HEBs did update their ads, and now they look more similar than they did previously. From time to time, there are specials only available at one sort of HEB and not the other.

So here are the lists:

MORE GRACKLE:

LESS GRACKLE: