While not about a deal, this email I just sent to Kettle Chips is grocery related:  

Hello, Chip People.  I am writing with a concern about a sack of Spicy Thai chips we purchased last week.  

These chips are usually flavored with whatever goes into the Spicy Thai blend.  This is an important part of the chip, especially in our family.  These chips are purchased by my husband specifically so that I won’t eat his chips, which he can than ration out among however many chip-eating sessions he feels is appropriate. Without the Spicy Thai seasoning, we’re left with just chips, and he’s got no snack defense at all, upsetting the normally tranquil atmosphere of our home.

How do I know this happened, since the whole point is that I don’t eat these chips? I have a habit of taking 2 or 3 chips out of each bag to eat, just to make sure I still don’t like them. After all, I didn’t like dark chocolate once, and I now realize its superior nature.  When I checked this bag, there was a noticeable lack of disagreeable flavor.  I asked my husband if these chips were somehow plain, and he agreed they were.  We conferred. Should I grab a bowl and have some chips? Absosmurfly not.  

In a panic, he grabbed a shaker of Slap Ya Mama seasoning and dumped a bunch in, folded the bag shut and gave it a shake to make sure it distributed properly, and then offered me some.  I decided to make some toast rather than eat the now somewhat weaponized chips, and he walked off grumbling about chaos and order and balance in the universe.

So, in the interest of marital harmony in my home, and across this great nation, where I’m sure many homes have utilized a Chip Defense of their own:  Please check the Spicy Thai Flavor Canister.  

Thank you.